i have moved

like what the title says. im moving to a new blog. this blog gona be deserted. whoever is interested to know my blog link. msg me =D

toodles

Starting a New

like what Jian Rick said,
I've been poisoned by this so called 'fish',
for quite some time.

everytime i visit this blog,
it's so polluted.

i'm gona make a new blog to start a new.
that will be soon like tomorrow or after my assignments =)
i think

It's Up To You

If a person never tried defending, whats the point stating out everything what i said in my first post? and also saying things like you're not defending?

you doing all this indirectly to cover yourself up? like i said, i wont bull about all this. whether you believe it and all it's all up to you. i also did said, if anyone still do not understand. do not hesitate to ask me in person and msg me. now someone is following me doing that?

to everybody that have read my and her blog. try to think about it, who's the first person who is actually defending. do you realize someone has just deleted the first post and replace with that?

like what i said in the first post, everything is up to you all whether to believe me or her. i said and explain every last detail of it. if you don't understand, i did say msg me personally. some people already did and thanks for caring and listening to my story. better still, do not judge by jst reading mine first. read her's too.

Getting It Straight

Reminder: the red words that i have highlighted is copied from her blog and paste here(the post from her blog has been deleted by her). To make sure readers do not get any misunderstand due that she did not give full details and made some changes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remember the times you said you will only wait for me within the given years span and I have to go back witin then that time no matter what or we will be over then? Well, it hurt me too till no end. You did not give a thing about my problems then. And when you were losing me only you tried to make amendments to it.
True, i said that.
But i took my words back when you promise to message me as much as you could whenever you have the time and free. I trusted you.
Before we broke up, i already did told you i don't mind waiting.
The reason we broke up is because your mom wants your to focus on your studies and also limiting your outing with your friends. You wanted freedom.
So, i was the one who voice out to break up with you because your mom limited on many of your doings.

Then when you sent me home, you tried to kiss me again. I withdrew at first, knowing this just could not be happening. But then you said it was the last time. And I strongly regret now that I haven't the strength to push you off then, especially when they say 'guys have a vice grip'. But I did promised myself such an incident will never happen again.
When i was sending you home, i slept on my shoulder.
After we reached your home, i kissed you. You never withdrew at first or at all. You continued..
I did said it was the last time but not the way you have describe it.

Half way kissing
Me: why didn't you push me away?
Her: dunno
Me: kiss me?
Her: why should i do that?
Me: coz it's gona be the last time
and she kiss me

you never did push me at all. For you information, i never hold your hands away forcefully and kiss you. If you remember it properly, i was hugging you and you never resist at all.

you said you promised yourself it would not gona happen again but it keep on happening. why are you doing all this misleading me?


when we went back to our respective home, we msn with each other. i ask her why did you really never push me away and resist at all? She answer, coz i saw your tears when you hug me. *i teared up when i hug her, that was before we kissed. still on the way driving to her house*

So, whats the meaning of this?

Thursday
you even admit to yourself that you had not enough sleep because you've been sleeping every 3~4a.m. you get irritated easily, and you even shouted at your mom when it's actually not her fault. you admitted it was your wrong. you also admitted it was your wrong for shouting at me BUT you told you was still UNSURE why you shouted at me and YES, you did say the things i say irritates you only. For no reason, i just forgive you like that by cooling you off by asking and telling you the reasons maybe why you feel like this.

We became friends, you promised you would tell me any problems you're having. Like i said in the previous post, i did this becoz you've been havin so many problems and you dont have anybody to share it too. i want you to leave without feeling so much burdens but instead, you mislead me by your doings like what i've mention above. Once again, you broke your promise by not telling me whats your problem and you keep deny it.
you were the one who started treated me more than just a friend, which it happens to mislead me.

Friday
you told me it was more to a family thing, but after that you said, not really a family thing anymore. the reason is because you told them not to send you off because you told them, we already see each other during cny.
you didnt wanted me to go at first which you afraid that you will burst into tears, but in the end you took back your words.

i caught you having Lee Young's msgs. you let me read your cousins msgs but not him. i felt suspicious. i got furious, you quickly deleted all the msg before i even read it. you send me a sms say lets go somewhere to talk alone. after we were alone, you told me the reasons which was him only having problems like homesick, missing his home because he has still not get used to Australia, Tasmania.

But, even though you told me this, i still have this very strong doubt that you ARE actually lying to me. i didn't believe her at first. she kept moving herself towards me. i tried to kissed you, you moved away and say, don't do this in public because there's alot malays here. then i said, then kiss me on the cheek, and you did. i needed reassurance by doing this because i was already mislead by your doings before. we held each other hands and walk back to our seats and continue our dinner.

Saturday
do you remember what have you said after we broke up?
you said, you think i can get a bf so quickly? i dun ever think i could ever get a bf until a few years time to forget about me.

the whole main reason for most of your post is because, you already have mislead me in the beginning also telling me you still had feelings for me. you never tell me anything about it.
If you hadn't kiss me, hold me hands and say i still had feelings about you. I would accept the fact that you fall in love with that guy but you didn't. you kept denying, and lying to me especially to my feelings. u hurt my deeply. i couldn't accept the fact.

like i said, i admit i did threaten you because i really couldn't face the fact at all. i really wanted to know how much you fall for that guy that you only been out with him like twice?

and you said, YOU ONLY REALIZE THAT YOU LOVE HIM WHEN YOU WERE LEAVING TO NZ. so what's this all about and also for that thursday and friday?

Let me tell you one thing, in any relationship, there's always up and down. you said Lee Young have never hurt you like how i hurt you. How well do you know him? You only went out with him twice. He haven't at all showed his true colours because it's still fresh. He's after you, you think he will hurt you when he's trying to get you? Wait till longer and we'll see. Well, no one know what future holds rite? That's for you to decide.

you taught me, if a person have any problems. don't run away, be strong to face it and mend it. =) now you change but it's not anymore my business.

Can't Believe Your Doing

You lied to me once again.
The last and biggest lie.

When i was in hong kong, i sms you and i called to hear your voice. Hearing your voice and how you talk to me. i already have that you are actually having problems but you kept denying and saying it's just that i'm gona miss my friends and malaysia.
Even though you kept telling me that, i still have this doubt.

Thurs:
After i came back from hong kong, i called you because i really wanted to hear your voice. I really miss you, i really do. I want to hear your voice before you leave.
But our conversation weren't that good because the reason is your mind was elsewhere. You shouted and scolded at me when i was really innocent. You say i irritate you, when that's how we usually talk. I forgive you when you did not even say a sorry after all that shouting and scolding. After that, i did my best to cool you down and i did.

Friday:
We argued again for a small matter but it was ok. We talk and such. Called her to better finish packing and shower quickly, so she could call her friends and talk to them for the last time. She was being stubborn until her mom scolded her for not finish finish packing and shower yet.

Hours later, Jamie and Wei zhong accompanied me to the airport to see her for the last time before she leaves. We had KFC for dinner at the airport. When Wei Zhong and Jamie was queuing up, i caught her smsing. i saw her inbox filled with a guy sms's, Lee Young. I was furious when i saw. She quickly deleted all his messages. I never talk to her for a few minutes until she call me to let's go somewhere to talk in privacy. Went with her. She told me Lee Young was having problems and such, so she's there for him.

I never believed her, until we kissed. After we kissed, i told myself that i should stop doubting myself and trust her. Yes, i did. Before, i didn't trust her because she have lied to me so much, she broke every promises she promise me but i kept on forgiving her. After we settled the misunderstanding, we held hands walking back and continue having our dinner.

When she was leaving, we hug and i gave a peck on her head. After that, goodbye hugs with Wei Zhong and Jamie. My tears was filling up, each step she made closer to the immigration. In the end, i couldn't take it anymore and burst out crying. That was our last meeting till she come back on december. Friends cheered me up after that.

Saturday:
Suddenly you confessed that you like another guy. Which was actually Lee Young. You lied to your closest friends and deny that you like him. Why do you have to lie? I told one of her friend, she said audrey went overboard. You told me that you like him because of your feelings.

Yes, i did say i want to be your guardian, your friend. To help you in your problems when you are in need because i knew you have nobody to share with. During the outing with you, why did you not pushed me away when we kissed? Why did you not move my hand away, when i hold your hands? Why when i hug you, you never move away? We were more than just a friend after that.

So, i really don't want to involve in any triangle love thing. I asked her to choose me(that we have actually been together for a year) or Lee Young(that she only went out with him twice and barely know him). She chose him over me. Yes, i did threaten her, to know if she actually cared about me more or Lee Young. The final answer, she cared about Lee Young more than me.

After for what you have done, you've been keeping this secret from me? Like 2 guys at once? When you don't even know him that well? True reason that you shouted and scold me because you trying to make me to get away from you? He studies in Tasmania, and can wait for him when you also study in New Zealand? Was i a tool to you from the very beginning?

(what she said in the msn)
Aud Aud: is alive! says:
i told u, i have feelings for him

After you read this, if you have problem understanding and still unsure. Ask me. Whether you believe it or not, it's up to you guys. I never modified the story unless i missed it, so just ask me in personally if you want to know more.

The Last Gift

Hope you like it =D

P/S : though we may be far apart,
my heart will always be with you,
whenever you are in need,
i will always be there for you,
to help you.

Be strong and do not be afraid.

Sigh.. Boring

I'm flying soon..
I never wanted to go overseas actually.

Whatever i do these days,
I couldn't focus on any in it.
Kept on day dreaming.

My brain gona burst.
Memories overflowing me.

P/S: will always be by your side whenever you are in need =)

The Search for The Waterfall !

2 Days ago,
Tuck Yik, Han Yao and Me!
We bought 5 packs of nasi lemak and 1 big water bottle.
Well, i didn't take much picture when climbing but i did take some pictures when we reach there! =D

In the beginning,
We starte our journey at 11.30a.m and everything ended at 4.30p.m.
Try to exclude 1 hour because we took 1 hour to play in the waterfall =P
So yeah, we took 2 hours to reach to the waterfall.
There was a lot of going uphill when going to the waterfall, which was a killer!

Han Yao drank most of the water and led us all dehydrated when walking back D;< Yao took his sweet time =D

At last he reached...

Tuck Yik can't wait to eat the nasi lemak

There's something in his mouth!

Yao already started eating=.=! That's fast...

O.. Oh.. OH MY GOD!!!

FAIL PICTURE!

Looks like RYL online. Took quite a few pictures to succeed having this picture. Been laughing at each other when doing that.. lol!

It's pretty hard to take group photo without anybody there =\

Paparazzi taking my pictures when i'm wearing my shoes.. lol!

Extreme exhaustion after climbing up and playing in the waterfall.. haha!

I told them, when we reached home, i wanna sleep awhile. They said, sleep what la, let's go out only lo. Then look at the the picture on top what are they doing =P

Why?

I look at myself in a mirror.

I
kept
asking
and
shouting
at
myself,
WHY DOES IT HAVE TO FUCKING END THIS WAY?! FUCKING WHY!?

I feel sadness,
I feel sorrow,
I feel lost,
I see tears.

Fuck My Life

Will be posting about the mountain climbing post soon. I guess

Mission Impossible, Yo!

Tomorrow...

Me, Han Yao and Tuck Yik
will
be
given
a
mission..

A mission that currently no friend of mine has ever reach to the waterfall,
to
eat
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
NASI LEMAK!

Will try my best to take pictures =P!

Toodles!

More Of It?

i really wanted to see you for the very one last time before you leave.
i went to your house, waiting outside and called you.

Me: hey, where are you?
Her: on my way to my friend's house.
Me : oh ok.
Her: whats wrong?
Me : just wanna see you for the last time.
Her: oh, i'm sorry.
Me : it's ok, bye
Her: bye

I really hope to see her one last time in my life.
Is that so hard?
Guess we're not fated at all.

I've tried my very best to face you,
when i couldn't face you at all last time.

I really hate my life sometimes.

This is getting ANNOYING!

Have you ever encounter random people adding you?
not really people, they're more like tards actually.
Look at my conversation with him/her/tard

JokerLAWL says:
who are u
Eddie says:
hey
JokerLAWL says:
wats your name
Eddie says:
Leanne, Just call me Lia <3
JokerLAWL says:
how do u know my email ?
Eddie says:
i'm 21/f your a male right?
JokerLAWL says:
go fuck off
Eddie says:
seriously? that's your response? wow
JokerLAWL says:
yeah, and so ?
Eddie says:
nice, I just got off work and finally got some time to relax which site did i msg you from again?
JokerLAWL says:
like hell i know who are u
you added me first
Eddie says:
I am a little busy right now, trying to upload some new pics to my photobucket if ya wanna check them out go http://photobucket.com/LonelyGirl89 tell me what ya think
JokerLAWL says:
*blocked*

Such good replies..
I ain't dumb for your shits

If i know who the hell that made this hack/bug or what ever it is, im gona...


call my hommy and give him a falcon punch!

WoooTzzz!?

Sister's Crispy Popiah!
How scrumptious! Delicious! Fantastic!

Me and 2 of of my college friends, Dion and Stephanie.
During class, Dion and Steph told the lecturer that they're gona be in the canteen to buy something for 'awhile'.
Well, so i just tag along. Suddenly talk about this newly open Popiah shop in College?! wtf?
So, we tried it and it was good!
It's been so long since i've eaten popiah.
Now i don't have to go so far like pasar malam, or hawker stall to order 1 =P

It was pretty amazing for a shop like this to open in college.

Whats more? I heard there's starbucks and some fast food restaurant gona open in my college too. I wonder if it's rumors or it's the truth.

My college - Taylor's Lakeside Campus.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Smart Tag - Toll

I've always been using smart tag to pay my tolls.
Did you any encounter any problem such as, u heard a *beep* sound on your smart tag but the machine never open the way for you?
Then some worker will come, they'll call you to reverse and try again.
If you realize, you're actually paying TWICE by doing that!

Whenever you hear the *beep* sound on your smart tag, always remember that you have already paid.

This incident just happen yesterday, the machine didn't open the way for me even though i have paid.
So, this is what i do to avoid paying twice.
I looked left and right to make sure the worker is not here,
Look at the mirror to see there's car waiting behind me,
I hate to wait,
So does, i hate to pay twice for nothing.
Decision made, i step on my accelerator and ram on the thing(so called 'tiang'). That so called ' tiang' was actually not metal nor something hard! It's just a freaking plastic! If you ram it, it wouldn't even scratch your car seriously!
It's so soft, just bang a bit and it's already moving like, alot?

After i ram it, i look at the back with the mirror.
The so called 'tiang' it's not straight anymore, the car that used to be behind of me was stunned and stoned there for awhile because the 'tiang' is not movable anymore.

A Perfect Friend

Do you have a friend that is the same sex as you and is almost perfect or really perfect.
Do you compare yourself with the prefect friend you have?

Yes, i have.

Admiration and Jealousy.

Everybody will be talking or asking about him.
He's always have the wisest choice,
By giving advice to you whenever you are having trouble or,
even teaching you.
He even have change some people from bad to good.
He even have the looks.

I have never heard people talk bad about him.
He's just too perfect.

Well, i talk shits, curse, and such.
Sometime, i even thought of changing but i felt it's isn't me.
When i'm being me, people have bad perception about me.
Lost.. Don't know what to do.

But i'm still lucky to have a friend like you.

No Regrets Afterall

It's been almost a year since i entered college.
I'm currently in semester 3.

In the beginning of college, i have some difficulties making friends.
Due that most of them are mandarin educated, so they speak mandarin a lot.
Compare to me, i am english educated.
So, it's pretty difficult for me to communicate with them.

During my school days, i don't give a damn about my mandarin class.
I really hate mandarin, seriously.
It's because their words is so complicated. Strokes here, strokes there.
Makes me go Crazy, yo!

From since semester 1, I have never went out with my college friends to watch movie till when i meet Shue Yin, Janet, Vivian, Yong Jee, Nic, Cj, Zi Han and others in semester 3. (sorry if i miss any of you)

They accepted me even we have difficulties communicating to each other. They teach me mandarin, and i teach them cantonese and english. So, we're learning from each other every time we talk.

Before meeting them, i always feel regretted taking this course due to no friends that makes my life so boring and also feeling very demotivated to continue this course.
But thanks to you guys, you all change my bad perception to a better one.

Once again, thank you so much all =D

Doesn't even exist

Define the word FOREVER.
was it everlasting?

I don't think the word forever even exist because it won't last.

What am i doing?

After all you had done.
Lying, breaking promises and such.
I'm always still missing you.

I regretted that i suggest to break all contacts.
I wanted to apologize and jst be friends.
A friend to help her with her problems.
But, i couldn't say it to her.
Everytime i look at her profile, blog or just her.
I just have this hatred towards her automatically.

Seriously, i really want to help u with your problems.
Sorry that now i couldn't face you and tell you that anymore.
We're just nobody to each other now.

The past stay as memories,
Memories to be kept,
As treasure.

I'm glad that i have a friend that understands me too.
Since he have experience it before.

I'm not gona delete this blog since this blog has been following me for so long.
This blog contains so much memories with my friends and problems.
Deleting it, it's like running away from problems.
You taught me not to run away from problems, but you're doing it.
No matter what, fact will always be a fact. It's time to face it.

Need to change background and such for the blog.
But due that i have not blog for so long,
i've forgotten how to change it and such.
Mind to help me out somebody?