Getting It Straight

Reminder: the red words that i have highlighted is copied from her blog and paste here(the post from her blog has been deleted by her). To make sure readers do not get any misunderstand due that she did not give full details and made some changes.
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Remember the times you said you will only wait for me within the given years span and I have to go back witin then that time no matter what or we will be over then? Well, it hurt me too till no end. You did not give a thing about my problems then. And when you were losing me only you tried to make amendments to it.
True, i said that.
But i took my words back when you promise to message me as much as you could whenever you have the time and free. I trusted you.
Before we broke up, i already did told you i don't mind waiting.
The reason we broke up is because your mom wants your to focus on your studies and also limiting your outing with your friends. You wanted freedom.
So, i was the one who voice out to break up with you because your mom limited on many of your doings.

Then when you sent me home, you tried to kiss me again. I withdrew at first, knowing this just could not be happening. But then you said it was the last time. And I strongly regret now that I haven't the strength to push you off then, especially when they say 'guys have a vice grip'. But I did promised myself such an incident will never happen again.
When i was sending you home, i slept on my shoulder.
After we reached your home, i kissed you. You never withdrew at first or at all. You continued..
I did said it was the last time but not the way you have describe it.

Half way kissing
Me: why didn't you push me away?
Her: dunno
Me: kiss me?
Her: why should i do that?
Me: coz it's gona be the last time
and she kiss me

you never did push me at all. For you information, i never hold your hands away forcefully and kiss you. If you remember it properly, i was hugging you and you never resist at all.

you said you promised yourself it would not gona happen again but it keep on happening. why are you doing all this misleading me?


when we went back to our respective home, we msn with each other. i ask her why did you really never push me away and resist at all? She answer, coz i saw your tears when you hug me. *i teared up when i hug her, that was before we kissed. still on the way driving to her house*

So, whats the meaning of this?

Thursday
you even admit to yourself that you had not enough sleep because you've been sleeping every 3~4a.m. you get irritated easily, and you even shouted at your mom when it's actually not her fault. you admitted it was your wrong. you also admitted it was your wrong for shouting at me BUT you told you was still UNSURE why you shouted at me and YES, you did say the things i say irritates you only. For no reason, i just forgive you like that by cooling you off by asking and telling you the reasons maybe why you feel like this.

We became friends, you promised you would tell me any problems you're having. Like i said in the previous post, i did this becoz you've been havin so many problems and you dont have anybody to share it too. i want you to leave without feeling so much burdens but instead, you mislead me by your doings like what i've mention above. Once again, you broke your promise by not telling me whats your problem and you keep deny it.
you were the one who started treated me more than just a friend, which it happens to mislead me.

Friday
you told me it was more to a family thing, but after that you said, not really a family thing anymore. the reason is because you told them not to send you off because you told them, we already see each other during cny.
you didnt wanted me to go at first which you afraid that you will burst into tears, but in the end you took back your words.

i caught you having Lee Young's msgs. you let me read your cousins msgs but not him. i felt suspicious. i got furious, you quickly deleted all the msg before i even read it. you send me a sms say lets go somewhere to talk alone. after we were alone, you told me the reasons which was him only having problems like homesick, missing his home because he has still not get used to Australia, Tasmania.

But, even though you told me this, i still have this very strong doubt that you ARE actually lying to me. i didn't believe her at first. she kept moving herself towards me. i tried to kissed you, you moved away and say, don't do this in public because there's alot malays here. then i said, then kiss me on the cheek, and you did. i needed reassurance by doing this because i was already mislead by your doings before. we held each other hands and walk back to our seats and continue our dinner.

Saturday
do you remember what have you said after we broke up?
you said, you think i can get a bf so quickly? i dun ever think i could ever get a bf until a few years time to forget about me.

the whole main reason for most of your post is because, you already have mislead me in the beginning also telling me you still had feelings for me. you never tell me anything about it.
If you hadn't kiss me, hold me hands and say i still had feelings about you. I would accept the fact that you fall in love with that guy but you didn't. you kept denying, and lying to me especially to my feelings. u hurt my deeply. i couldn't accept the fact.

like i said, i admit i did threaten you because i really couldn't face the fact at all. i really wanted to know how much you fall for that guy that you only been out with him like twice?

and you said, YOU ONLY REALIZE THAT YOU LOVE HIM WHEN YOU WERE LEAVING TO NZ. so what's this all about and also for that thursday and friday?

Let me tell you one thing, in any relationship, there's always up and down. you said Lee Young have never hurt you like how i hurt you. How well do you know him? You only went out with him twice. He haven't at all showed his true colours because it's still fresh. He's after you, you think he will hurt you when he's trying to get you? Wait till longer and we'll see. Well, no one know what future holds rite? That's for you to decide.

you taught me, if a person have any problems. don't run away, be strong to face it and mend it. =) now you change but it's not anymore my business.